Oh how terribly cliche of me, making changes in the new year. I know, I know, how original. Under the usual plan, this post would be looking back on the last month, December; an opportunity for me to close a chapter in my life. This retrospective view on life has been particularly useful in moving on, but the one thing I have been lacking is the plan of where to go next.
Before I go on, this is not a new year’s resolutions post, far from it, but hey, is this not the perfect time to make a step in the right direction? Sure, truthfully there is no blanket perfect time, that is all down to the individual. For me however, as someone who spent practically the whole of 2018 documenting her thoughts and feelings, this is the time for me.
I do enjoy reviewing each month so that is not going to stop and perhaps it won’t feel like any change at all, but I want to switch it up a bit by setting myself goals along the way while documenting their progress.
A quick recap on December then… now I feel like I say this every month but goddamn did I feel like a zombie, mind you, that’s difficult to avoid when working a retail Christmas. Nevertheless I am determined to look after myself more next time the festivities roll around. This might be by taking more care outside of work by ensuring I eat well and get enough sleep. It might even be by getting a new job. The possibilities are endless and I am open to any of them. Really I still want to be with the same company, and I would love another opporunity to completely smash the Christmas season, but I am also keeping in mind the importance of my wellbeing, and the source of that is always subject to change, so we’ll see.
A long old month lead to an absolutely atrocious New Year’s Eve. I mean, I had a great time, but I probably (read definitely) only needed about half the amount of alcohol consumed that night. For starters, don’t mix kids. Secondly, don’t throw up in the Uber your mate ordered you. These are details that I could leave out, but in a way I think it’s better to look back and laugh with people about it instead of keeping it all in and feeling like the worst person alive. Just as long as you learn from it. This night was a real turning point for me. I know everyone says it after a heavy night, but I legitimately can’t bear the thought of getting drunk again. I’m not going to go sober, but I am so over going out to get drunk. I’ll enjoy a few glasses of G+T as well as a nice cold pint every now and then, but ordering alcohol for the sake of it? No. Mixing? Hell no. Drinking spiced rum in the near future? Absolutely not. Oh and please someone step in if I’m tempted into ordering doubles. Just like everyone else, alcohol allows me to loosen up a little, but surely I can work on this without feeling the effects of it the following morning? This is absolutely going to be the year of looking after myself long term rather than looking for quick fixes.
Besides the usual things like drinking more water and reading more books, I want to get way more into albums this year. I touched upon this in my 2018 music post, so I won’t go on about it, but the long and short of it is that I have really underwhelmed myself with the amount of music I am familiar with. I want to actually listen to the music people talk to me about, so I have started a playlist called ‘Listen to Me’ for any recommendations. Even if I can’t listen there and then, I can add to playlist and check it out later. I want to have a well considered top ten list by the end of year so will be making a separate playlist for new album releases that I am likely to enjoy this year in order for me to keep on top of it. This isn’t so much a goal, more of a means of organisation to feed the music nerd inside of me. However what I do hope to see from this is more posts about music, I want to be back in that rhythm as well as getting back on track with the music project I proposed months ago. Notebooks galore have been purchased, so I better get my money’s worth.
So the monthly posts shall continue, as I do find them incredibly cathartic, but they will not necessarily be headed up as “January”, “February” and so on. Maybe they’ll be basically the same, maybe they’ll be totally different, but the main aim is to see progression. I don’t want to be writing about how tired I am each month. I want achievements, big or small. I want to see more content on here. Most of all, I want to look back on these posts somewhere down the line and feel happy about them. Here’s to looking forward, not just because it’s a new year, but just because.
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SAMANTHA MAE 