It has been a while since I came out with a load of words about the last month in general, so my initial thought for this post was, hey, let’s give May the spotlight for a moment. Then I looked back. Other than starting at a new job (which I covered to death in my last post), the last month has been pretty plain sailing. Also, by the time I got round to really writing this post, we had already been through most of June. So it is a sort of two month roundup. Don’t worry though, I’ll keep it short and sweet. Relatively.
I guess I might as well start by taking a moment to talk about music. Let me kick it all off with one word.
IGOR.
I had never really listened to Tyler up until last year. I understood that he was good but never really took any interest. Last year though I was told to listen to Flower Boy and I started to appreciate him more. Then Igor came out last month and I was OBSESSED. For a good couple of weeks, if I wasn’t listening to Igor I was shouting random lyrics at the pub or singing Earfquake to myself in bed. This was the first time I had listened to Tyler in ‘real time’, enjoying his new material at the same time as the rest of the world; safe to say I got fully stuck in.
A few weeks later and it is still the album I turn to when I can’t think of anything else I particularly want to listen to. That being said I want to do a complete flip reverse over the next couple of months and explore some golden oldies. It is festival season so everyone is busy playing in fields rather than bringing out new albums, so the way I see it, now is the perfect time to delve back a few decades.
Speaking of festivals, gigs are definitely something that I have ignored this year. My aim at the beginning of 2019 was to go to more shows but I could probably count the gigs I’ve been to so far on my hands. Maybe even just the one. I know, dreadful. I mean to be fair I did see Childish Gambino this year (did I mention that already?) which is pretty big. Nevertheless, I do have some things lined up and once things settle at work I will be working more with Vulture Hound so hopefully I will make a few more shows.
As for listening to more albums I have definitely done better than last year. I am even in shock of how many I already have noted down and that some of them were even from this year. I’m still unsure whether to do a ‘best so far’ or leave it all until the end, because to be honest, unless a miracle happens I don’t see much changing between now and December. Also I would just feel like I’m repeating myself too much, so nah, decision made, a full year “top albums” it is.
Now I guess we talk a little about my new job. Overall, it is good. Do I have my doubts? Yes. Are they mostly self doubt? Probably. Have I learnt a lot about my work ethic in general already? Hell yes. Going in to work on my days off. Working a LONG weekend… maybe the stress I feel at work is all self manifested? Essentially I had a little panic because I was in fact feeling more stressed at this new job for a moment, but I soon realised that it was a different kind of stress. The kind I could work through and leave at the shop as opposed to the previous stress that would carry through to my personal life, regardless of where it came from.
Let’s just say I have learnt that there is a lot more to life than work and that it is important to take things slow and breathe for a minute. I cannot believe it has been over a month already, but there is still plenty to learn and a challenging weekend made that SUPER CLEAR. I could sit and dwell (lord knows I already have), but the main thing is to keep on going, just not necessarily at 100mph.
I do miss my old job at times but it is nice to have some distance between my work and home life. My love for the company made the stress there (whether created by myself or not) particularly hard to deal with, and that is not to say that I don’t have any love for my new company, more that I have a completely new perspective to work with in a brand new environment. I’m not really too sure what I’m trying to say here but I think it goes something like being able to be mould my perspective around new experiences rather than having an existing view distorted by such experiences. Basically, I feel more in control of how I feel at work. It makes sense in my head anyway.
I think that pretty much sums up where I am right now. As for the future, I am looking to move to Winchester, because commuting (even if only a 15-30 min journey) to a job where you are on your feet for 9/10 hours is super tiring. I definitely lied to myself, thinking I could use that travel time to write/read, but no, I am just plain tired. Always. Also money. No way can I be bothered to pay to get in to work each day. Neither can I really afford it. I still have a few months to go on the tenancy agreement on my current flat but I am still going to start looking at places right away and try my luck at leaving early. Fingers crossed!
Thanks as always for reading, and don’t forget you can keep up to date with my nonsensical brainwaves on Twitter and self indulgent mirror selfies on Instagram. See ya next month xo
SAMANTHA MAE 